a nerd

[a nerd]

[zsnes]

i only eat gas station dick pills and drink arnold palmer and i am incredibly effective and intelligent to the point that i have telekinetic abilities (level 3) i have recently been given access to atlantis tetrahedron power crystals by the us government. come fuck with me.

[a nerd]

[zsnes]

[a nerd]

[showerthoughtsofficial]

It’s crazy that your fingerprints heal as well when you cut your finger.

[slicethepi]

I’m pretty sure your fingerprints don’t heal into the same exact pattern if it’s more than a tiny scrape or slice. Like, espionage-type people have gotten their fingerprints removed and stuff.

[slicethepi]

wehn ur so goddamn tired that u call spies “espionage-type people” and dont give it a second fucking thought until a full half minute after posting

[a nerd]

[showerthoughtsofficial]

It’s crazy that your fingerprints heal as well when you cut your finger.

[slicethepi]

I’m pretty sure your fingerprints don’t heal into the same exact pattern if it’s more than a tiny scrape or slice. Like, espionage-type people have gotten their fingerprints removed and stuff.

[a nerd]

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

the world was so much darker before i tasted flesh

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

just so we’re clear, this was a post about the first time i sucked a dick.

[celticpyro]

This post was two consecutive sucker punches to the face.

[curiooftheheart]

Really three because I also had to read OP’s name

[a nerd]

I FOUND THIS HORRIBLE MONSTROSITY OPENED UP AND EATEN ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER MY ROOMMATE IS A TERRIBLE PERSON AND SO IS WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THIS CAN OF EVIL

[a nerd]

[toadprince]

Tumblr 3479 predictions

-Cyber-Tyrant Bezos XXXIIV Jr. buys the website and his thousand year dynasty finally goes bankrupt because of the website

-Biggest-Gaudiest-Patronuses eats an endangered poisonous alien worm on stream for $1,000,000,000,000 (inflated equivalent of $3) and dies immediately

-People are still commenting “K” on Trilllizard’s thousand year old comments even though he is long dead

-Fishingboatproceeds mysteriously becomes active again with selfies and everything but is later called out for being an alien shapeshifting hacker who factkins John Green

[toadprince]

-75% of the website’s users die from not having the proper eye implants to comprehend memes deep fried into the 5th dimension

-Staff adds a new feature to make “DNA posts” and tumblr users start editing people’s DNA in Adobe Gene-Shop to 3D print disturbingly malformed versions of popular users and they’re called DNAPoops

-Popular user gets called out for posting “tentacle hurting goo” memes despite being from a species with joints in their limbs

-Human Anti-SJW blog deactivates after commenting “there are only two genders” on a post from an alien that comes from a species with 439 sexes

[a nerd]

[ryanestradadotcom]

I have had the honor of working on two different comics projects with Don Hertzfeldt. Flight, and Fusion Future. But this is the story of my first interaction with the man.

[a nerd]

[ratguzzler]

*from computer speakers* vsauce, *from suddenly behind you* michael here

[caprisuncat]

*from inside your head* what if you were defenseless

[a nerd]

[shinyfacebeauty]

this is the most beautiful thing ive seen in a long time

[annemarieandlovingit]

Ok, this site has made me smile all the time but this fucking post is one of the few to make me fucking lose it. He sounds so fucking distraught. Like, yeah bruh why did she do that?